control
by asceticism
Summary: Sakura had been in a war for longer than this tiny body had even been alive. sak-centric, timetravel, kind of dark, wartorn!sak, character death (obv.), eventual itasaku (really slowburn.) all chapters are and forever will be only one-hundred words of content.
1. home

_disclaimer: i'm really poor guys._

* * *

 **i.**

 **home**

* * *

The air smelled clean–no, fresh? Not like a ton of corpses had been festering in the sweltering heat for a few days straight? There wasn't really a way to describe it, but when Sakura breathed in through her nose the only thing she could think of was _home._

 _Home, home, home, ho-_

-but that was stupid, because there was no such thing as _home_ anymore. That kind of fantasy was just that, a fantasy. The closest thing she had to _home_ now was a dead man's sleeping bag, with all of its familiar blood stains and scents of death.

* * *

 _an- these are some short chapters. i'll probably post two for now, maybe more later. i think i'm going to make an increase of words, like the first ten chapters are one-hundred, the next ten; two-hundred, so on, so on. sound fun? i hope so because that's what i'm doing probably._

 _if the lack of capitalization on the author notes bother you, let me know and i might fix it._


	2. dream

_disclaimer: still poor._

* * *

 **ii.**

 **dream**

* * *

Sakura couldn't be sure how long it was until she realized she hadn't woken. She was still there, in the simple thought procured from her company-starved, half-mad mind. She might call it a memory, but with the smell of food ( _Food!_ ) hugging her like a warm blanket, she knew it couldn't be so. Her memories were filled with dried blood and rotting corpses.

She froze, heart _thunk, thunk, thunking,_ inside her chest. Slowly, she forced her eyes open, brilliantly green. Dreams did not include smell–dreams _could not_ include smells! Panic clawed inside of her stomach, burning with a vengeance.

* * *

 ** _an-_** _a truly riveting tale. wow. such facination with the plot progression._


	3. clean

_disclaimer: nope. nothings changed in the last fourteen hours, sorry._

* * *

 **i** **ii.**

 **clean**

* * *

Sakura's feet moved of their own accord, stumbling and tripping towards the bathroom, throwing it open and skidding to a stop. The food that she didn't remember eating–since, as far as she knew, her last meal had been three days ago–found it's way to the pristine, white toilet.

For a second she had to stop to marvel at the _clean, so, so clean_ state of it. It practically shone. However, in the next second, she was retching with her fingers clawing at the sides and a guttural wail stuck in her throat. No tears came, though; they never did anymore.

* * *

 _ **an.**_ _i changed my mind again, all the chapters will always be 100 words. the only added words are my notes and the titles._


	4. inner pt one

_disclaimer: ..._

* * *

 **iv.**

 **inner**

* * *

' _You're kind of... depressing,'_ Someone informed her, voice sounding so childish to her weary ears.

When was the last time she had heard a child? Before the war got terrible, that was for sure–the only people left alive were those who could throw away morals and-

' _Do you mind?'_ The little girl snapped, sounding queazy.

Sakura looked around wildly, still not registering that she was in a _bathroom_.

She head a long sigh, ' _I'm inside your giant forehead, dummy.'_

' _Oh,'_

She decided, much like the bathroom, she wouldn't think about it. She was crazy anyways, what was one more voice?

* * *

 ** _an._ **_maybe more chapters tonight, maybe more chapters tomorrow. depends on my mood._


	5. depressing

_disclaimer: this seems unnecessary._

* * *

 **v.**

 **depressing**

* * *

She looked hard at the bathroom, willing it to disappear. Next, she pinched herself until nails broke skin. Her jade eyes were drawn to watch the way the angry red, half-crescent shapes appeared slowly, and lazily blood followed suit, tiny beads of crimson welling in the shallow wound.

' _Anyways, I said, you're_ de-press-ing _.'_

Sakura was silent for a really long moment, staring and suddenly fascinated with the tiny fingers in front of her face, pudgy with the obvious signs of childhood. Her chakra was nothing more than a tiny flame.

"I know," She muttered in an empty, high pitched voice.

* * *

 ** _an._** _no news from this end. itachi should show up in the next ten chapters, maybe._


	6. reflections

_disclaimer: still a trashcan._

* * *

 **vi.**

 **reflections**

* * *

The mirror stared back at her, clean and unbroken. It had been years since she'd really seen her reflection, and even now she wasn't truly seeing herself. Short, pink hair brushed against her eyelashes, whispering against the nape of her neck.

Wet eyes sparkled back at her, looking more empty than any child's should. Fitting, because if eyes were a window to the soul, Sakura's was long since dead.

' _Depressing,'_ Inner reminded her, sighing.

Her not-reflection was crying, tears dripping from rose-colored lashes and onto a chubby pale face. She reached a hand up to touch it in slight awe.

* * *

 ** _an._** _im v hungry_


	7. drip, drip, drip

_disclaimer: ten hours later and i still haven't talked anyone into giving me the franchise._

 _drats._

* * *

 **vii.**

 **drip, drip, drip**

* * *

She licked her lips, tasting warm saltiness and memories. The tears fell with barely a sound, _drip, drip, dripping_ onto the floor like a leaky faucet, or the blood of bodies impaled in a tree. Her clumsy fingers were still wet with the almost foreign substance. The last time she'd cried she was nineteen and watching Uchiha Sasuke tearing into Naruto without the slightest remorse.

Sakura closed her eyes and sighed. Her tiny amount of chakra flared as she muttered, "Kai."

But when she opened them again, nothing had changed, and the tears _drip, drip, dripped_ on the clean floor.

* * *

 _ **an.**_ _i probably lied when i said itachi would show up in the next ten chapters. maybe twelve or fifteen, i dunno, maybe ten. my stories control me, not the other way around._


	8. baby

_disclaimer: no, sorry to spit on your dreams._

* * *

 **viii.**

 **baby**

* * *

Granted, Sakura didn't scream. Not granted, she spewed her guts into the pristine, white sink and heaved, sobs wracking her body. It seemed, as a baby, she was very much in touch with her tears.

' _Not a baby,'_ Inner informed her, ' _Four.'_

"No," She agreed, because old enough to walk meant old enough to fight and to bleed.

But then again, this was a time of peace and peace meant children didn't die in bloody battles they were too young to properly understand or take part in. She wiped her hand on the back of her mouth, turning from herself.

* * *

 _ **an.** chapters will probably be in intervals of two for as long as this story entertains me. and by that, i mean my profile mentions all updates on any stories on this account will be sporadic. i update when i feel like it, and when im inspired. i refuse all obligations. _


	9. sleep

_disclaimer: im basically a pile of dirt_

* * *

 **ix.**

 **sleep**

* * *

Sakura crawled back into the bed that belonged to her so many years ago, pulled up the covers that had burned with her house, and laid her head on the pillow that smelled of everything she had ever missed. She closed her eyes and fell asleep a moment later, because sleep was hard to come by and welcomed anytime. The people down stairs–' _Your parents.'_ –didn't seem to be aware of this though, because a moment later there was a soft knocking and a voice she had long come to terms with never hearing again.

Her eyes burned, her heart hammered.

* * *

 _ **an.**_ _no jokes, i just woke up and i had a dream that gaara really like lemon cookies._


	10. mother pt one

_disclaimer: this really isn't necessary._

* * *

 **x.**

 **mother pt. one**

* * *

It was the exact same lilting, soothing voice that had wrapped her in comfort whenever she scraped her knees or when she was ignored. It was the same voice that cried to her to _not go_ and to _please stay_. The same voice that screamed at her in nightmares and told her she wasn't _good_ enough, that she had _failed_.

Tears leaked onto the pink pillow, but she stayed utterly silent, not moving an inch and forcing her breathing to remain regular. A doorknob turned, Sakura braced herself by shoving down emotions and erecting a shield of readily available lies.

* * *

 _ **an.** anyways, in the dream, i made some lemon cookies with some kind of drug, fed them to gaara and then shoved him in a box. i think it was because he had something i needed/wanted._


	11. mother pt two

_disclaimer: the only thing i own is you (i'm kidding, calm down)_

* * *

 **x** **i.**

 **mother pt. two**

* * *

Her mother threw open the curtains as sunshine filtered through the window, bathing her in warmth and memories of happiness. She tried not to cry; her mother tried not to sigh at the lumpy figure underneath a pink comforter.

"Sakura," She murmured, stepping towards her.

She could feel the eyes on her back, see the shadow that fell over her bed and she willed herself into a statue, unmoving and unfeeling. However, she crumpled into dust when she felt a soft hand touch her shoulder, gently trying to wake her.

It took everything inside her to not kill the woman.

* * *

 ** _an._** _i'd like to take this moment to thank everyone for the reviews–you're true fries. yes, true fries, indeed._

 _(and SkippingThrough, war-torn!sakura is one of my favorite Sakura's as well, especially in time-travel fics.) (i also have a thing for psychological damage and gore and_ pain _.)_

 _:))))_


	12. touch

_disclaimer: disclaimer: disclaimer: disclaimer: disclaimer: ..._

 _etc._

* * *

 **xii.**

 **touch**

* * *

She wondered how long it had been since she received a friendly touch by someone who's other hand didn't grasp a weapon to kill her with. Too long, if the automatic reaction to her mother's gentle touch had anything to go by.

She was almost one-hundred percent sure if she were in her normal body, her mother would be nothing but a corpse by now. However, this body was weak and uncoordinated with slow reactions giving Sakura barely enough time to _not_ punch her mother through a wall. It didn't, however, give her enough time to stop the strangled gasp from her throat.

* * *

 _ **an.**_ _i think i made some kind of heartfelt thanks towards reviews in the last chapter? disregard it, i am very rude and unfeeling and that never happened so shush up._

 _THIS WAS HOW I WAS DRAGGED INTO RESPONSIBILITY_


	13. nightmare

_disclaimer: if i owned Naruto, i wouldn't-_

 _-wait a second,_ _yes i would,_

 _i will (probably) always write fanfiction_

* * *

 **xii.**

 **nightmare**

* * *

"Sakura?"

Her concern prompted more tears because in the world she knew–the one that _no longer existed_ –concern was rarer as trust. She clenched and unclenched tiny hands, slowly turning onto her back, facing her mother. The should-have-been-dead-but-wasn't woman took one look at her face and gathered her up, blankets and all.

"Sakura," She cooed soothingly, "What's wrong darling?"

Between forcing down the urge to punch or stab, and the sobs that threatened to tear their way from her throat, all she managed to gasp was a weak, "Nightmare."

It didn't matter though because she was four and children didn't lie.

* * *

 ** _an._** _i'm afraid writing in only hundred-word excerpts might affect my ability to write mega-long chapters._


	14. trust

_disclaimer: i did say earlier i was trash, right?_

* * *

 **xiii.**

 **trust**

* * *

Her behavior was forgiven. It seemed, as a child, people were much less prone to suspect you for being deceitful and foolishly trusting; or perhaps Sakura had spent too long assuming the worst of everyone. She opted out on speaking, hoping her mother would chalk it up to the nightmare, instead trying to think of anything and everything she knew of a four-year-old speaking habits.

' _I'm still here,'_ Inner muttered, dragging up long forgotten memories of herself stored in dusty boxes.

She couldn't help the suspicious, ' _At what price?'_

Inner sighed, _'You're going to have to learn about_ trust _."_

* * *

 ** _an._** _im working on what i_ think _might_ possibly _be a one-shot,_ maybe _. it's more mentally fucked up, war-torn sakura, because love her. she's not necessarily_ strong _, but, shrug. i dunno if i'll post it or not, maybe so, maybe not._


	15. inner pt two

_disclaimer: i'm running out of things to put here._

* * *

 **xiv.**

 **inner pt. two**

* * *

In her mind, she questioned why Inner seemed so... normal, happy. Why she didn't feel like closing her eyes and never waking up every second of the day?

' _I'm part you, but I'm also part other Sakura, the one whose soul resided in this body,'_ Sakura tried to feel guilty for taking a child's life, her own life, but she'd killed younger with less regrets and more blood.

In her eyes, young-Sakura had gotten lucky. She had simply merged inside of herself, at least she wasn't lying in a puddle of blood, left to rot or be eaten by crows.

* * *

 ** _an._** _remember that one shot i was working on?_ _it might end up being more than a one-shot..._

 _i'm already at sixth thousand words and i just realized i want to make a story out of it. an itasaku story._

 _probably. maybe. don't quote me on that._


	16. evidence

_disclaimer: one word. poor._

* * *

 **xvi.**

 **evidence**

* * *

"I need to potty," She informed her mother, trying hard to imitate a four-year-old.

Inner noded in apparent approval and her mother smiled down at her gently, "Do you need help?"

Sakura felt Inner's childish embarrassment, and her cheeks flushed unwillingly, "No, that's unnes-" She coughed to hide the slip-up, "fine, Mommy!"

She rushed to the _clean_ bathroom, stared into the _untouched_ mirror for a brief second, before vigorously scrubbing away any and all evidence of her 'episode'. At the same time, she took a moment to mentally bury the evidence of who she truly was. No one could know.

* * *

 _ **an.** after these initial sakura-waking-up chapters, things should flow in more of an excerpt kind of style. like each chapter won't necessarily flow from the last one all the time. so, sakura's gonna have breakfast, and then we're off to the market to spot some naruto characters! _


	17. father

_disclaimer: nothin' ta see 'ere folks!_

* * *

 **xvii.**

 **father**

* * *

He was all bad puns and sunny smiles as he tried to tease her with mischief gleaming in his gaze. His laughter felt soothing and warm and unmistakably _home_. It was hard to hide her horrified look when she'd seen his body, charred black and _dead_. Hard when she'd seen him in her nightmares, watched him turn away and call her a _failure_. But at the same time, she was stuck remembering his easy smiles and his constant encouragement at any choices she'd made.

Her nails dug into the table as she closed her eyes and tried not to cry.

* * *

 ** _an._** _something weird has been going down with updates for this story. maybe it's because i post too many in such a short time? i dunno, but like it'll show that the chapters are there when you click the story, but it doesn't show it's been updated. has anyone noticed that?_


	18. living corpses pt one

_disclaimer: im like seven._

* * *

 **xviii.**

 **living corpses pt. one**

* * *

Her entire body was stiff despite her effort to hide it. Her mother was smiling gently at something her father had said, and they were staring at one another with such adoration Sakura wanted to puke. She wanted to tell them that they were _dead_ , and she had been there to watch as the bodies were dumped in a mass grave with no other recognition than names on a slab of stone. Her soul was aching, a dull throbbing that caused tears to prick her eyes.

They were mocking her, these not-dead dead people.

The entire world was mocking her.

* * *

 _ **an.** i posted these at three am in hopes of waking up to see some reviews or something lol. (please review) _

_(and too LooneyTuned, appearances will most definitely be hard to keep kept–hope that makes sense. i think at some point she'll reveal herself to the hokage, at the very least. because i mean, at this point sakura wants to save everyone, she doesn't necessarily care what happens to her)_


	19. bad dreams pt one

_disclaimer: no._

* * *

 **xix.**

' **bad dreams' pt. one**

* * *

She was silent during breakfast, and at her father's concern soft words were whispered between the two; something about nightmares and _will she be okay?_ She wanted to cry when her mother insisted it was just a bad dream, because it wasn't just a 'bad dream' and she most certainly would _not_ be alright. 'Bad dreams' were not watching people carry their intestines for her to put back in. 'Bad dreams' paled in comparison to the feeling of blood clinging like a second skin. She hadn't dreamed the way air smelled as bodies rotted in the sweltering sun. She hadn't.

* * *

 ** _an._** _itachi is soon, i promise. not sure how much of itachi right now, but there's definitely an exchange of words... er, kind of._


	20. bad dreams pt two

_disclaimer: sakura ended up with sasuke and i would never, so..._

* * *

 **xx.**

' **bad dreams' pt. two**

* * *

She pushed away the small bowl of rice and looked down, attempting to keep this tiny body from betraying her. No matter how hard she tried, she could feel the tears coming on, pricking her eyes and washing down her cheeks in warm rivulets.

"Blossom?" Her father asked, concern riddling his voice.

"You were dead," Sakura whispered because it felt like she was seeing ghosts and it was making her crazy, "Mommy was dead. Everyone was dead. _Konoha_ was dead."

"It was just a bad dream," He soothed.

A strangled sound between a sob and a laugh left her throat.

* * *

 ** _an._** _my poor saku-chan. :(_

 _that's okay, it only gets worse._

 _(gak, this stupid update-thing gong on is driving me crazy)_


	21. concern

_disclaimer: ay lmao_

* * *

 **xxi.**

 **concern**

* * *

Her parents decided she needed fresh air, and maybe a hospital, but mostly fresh air. She could hear their whispered concern and knew her weakness had costed her. They were worried now, and they would watch her closely.

Her father called to her, soft and worried, "Blossom?"

She looked at him, trying to force happiness, curiosity, _something_ into her eyes. Judging by his face, it wasn't working well.

"Your mother's going to the market, do you want to go too?"

"Okay, Daddy," She winced at her hoarse whisper and the _empty_ tone of her voice but managed to smile weakly.

* * *

 ** _an._** _if you don't want to hear me wallow in a pool of teenage self-pity, please proceed to the next chapter. otherwise, trudge onward!_

 _self-pity time: my life is a mess and i hate my parents. sounds common right, like EVERY OTHER TEENAGER? except they both act younger than i do, they've been seperated-but-not-really (we all still live together) for three years, and my mom is pregnant by her boyfriend who i am 400% sure will turn out to be a rebound. she told me last night they had their first fight._ _first fight, my fries! and she's already pregnant! i forsee a mess. a big mess._

 _okay pity-party over, sorry 'bout that but i at school and they_ _wont stop texting me and i was publishing this chapter so this happened. sorry._


	22. promise

_disclaimer: y'all blind or sumthin'_

* * *

 **xxii.**

 **promise**

Her mother's hand was soft and warm and _comforting_. She gripped it like her lifeline as she stared at the sky, the trees and everything else she could look at. The sun smiled down on them, basking her in happy, golden rays and everything inside _hurt_.

This was Konoha, wonderfully peaceful and not on _fire_. Konoha, with its earthy breeze, not the blood and ash and rotting corpse smell she had grown used to. Her village, Konohagakure, blissfully ignorant of the blood that would run through the streets someday.

No, not someday. In that moment, she promised herself _never again_.

* * *

 _ **an.** someone hand me a tissue, *sniffles* god bless, godbless. _


	23. living corpses pt two

_diclaimer: yehaw y'all, i ain't got nuthin'_

* * *

 **xxiii.**

 **living corpses pt. two**

* * *

Sakura stared at the buildings and shops with wonderment. People were everywhere, laughing and smiling and doing things that people who were _alive_ did. Anywhere she turned she saw someone vaguely familiar looking and not _dead_.

' _I couldn't save him,'_ She confided at one point to Inner, catching a glimpse of a man buying fish.

At another time, she saw a woman with sunshine hair and slanted, yellow eyes, ' _She begged me to kill her.'_

' _Did you?'_

Her reply was empty, ' _She begged.'_

No matter where she looked, corpses stared back at her with smiles and waves. Her stomach churned.

* * *

 _ **an.** man, 'kura-chan fucked up though._


	24. him

_disclaimer: u funny tho_

* * *

 **xxiv.**

 **him**

* * *

He bumped into her.

She was standing there, watching a girl whose child she killed at the then woman's dying request, and telling Inner about the horrible deed when he ran into her.

If she was in her body–the one that always smelled like blood and death–she probably would have killed him on instincts alone, but as it happened she had no chakra and no weapons, and her reaction time was pitiful at best. Before she could do anything, she was falling.

She wasn't able to stop the horrified, bloodcurdling, fear-filled scream as she stared into his childishly big, _black_ eyes.

* * *

 _ **an.** sorry for not posting more last night, i fell asleep at like 7:30 and then didn't wake up at all. I actually just got to school, hehe_


	25. uchiha

_disclaimer:_

* * *

 **xxv.**

 **uchiha**

* * *

Her mother rushed over, fretting and smoothing her ruffled pink locks. She didn't pay attention because long after her screaming ended, she was still staring at him. He hid behind an older boy's leg–his brother's–but she could still see the unruly black hair and his curious eyes. Every ounce of her self-control was being dedicated to not killing him right there.

"I apologize ma'am. I'm Uchiha Itachi, this is my younger brother, Sasuke."

She didn't flinch at his name because when the world was dying, secrets were useless. He'd done what he had to.

So had she, for that matter.

* * *

 _ **an.** my mom is miscarrying, probably_

 _the placenta's detached/is detaching._


	26. itachi pt one

_disclaimer: no own_

* * *

 **xxvi.**

 **itachi pt. one**

* * *

They were deceptively blank, those dark irises, but Sakura knew better. She'd read most salvageable mission reports from Root and ANBU alike. It wasn't like there had been much else to do, besides kill and stay alive. So she'd dedicated her free time to learning secrets that would never matter again and memorizing years of history that would become useless.

"Haruno Sakura," She murmured softly, breaking away from his too-searching gaze and grasping her mother's skirt to seem more like a child.

Her mother fretted, "I'm terribly sorry, Sakura had a terrible dream this morning and she's a little emotional."

* * *

 _**an.** probably no more chapters toady, __im_ _not really in the mood to write._


	27. i: curiosity pt one

_disclaimer: it's been a few days, and even though i've tried really hard i still don't own the Naruto franchise._

 _man everyone hates me._

* * *

 **xxvii.**

 **curiosity pt. one**

* * *

Her doll-like eyes were bright and spring green, but when they turned to look up at him he was startled at the expression he saw–they truly were like a doll's, glassy and unbelievably _empty_. She stared, meticulously scanning his face as he did the same to her. Her eyes held intellect a child shouldn't have as he was sure she couldn't have been more than four.

Her mouth opened and quietly she mumbled, "Haruno Sakura."

Then her–Sakura's–mother was prattling, talking of nightmares, emotions, and other things, but he was stuck puzzling over those haunted, intelligent eyes.

Uchiha Itachi was _curious_.

* * *

 ** _an._** _i've messed with all the chapter titles and removed the numbers. instead, you will see an_ i:(chapter name) _in front of some chapters from now on. this will indicate which chapters are in itachi's perspective, now that he's in our story. i'll do the same for anyone i plan on having pov'ed ore than once or twice._

 _the reason for this is because i write in what's knows as 'third person limited', meaning i reveal emotions and thoughts of one particular character. so doing this will prevent confusion as to why 'tachi might not know certain things about sakura, and visa versa._


	28. i: curiosity pt two

_disclaimer: hn._

 _:)_

* * *

 **xxviii.**

 **curiosity pt. two**

* * *

She wasn't looking at him anymore–Haruno Sakura–and for some irrational reason Itachi felt disappointment and unhappiness. He wanted her to be _curious_ , to see something worth noticing in him as he had with her. He hoped she'd be smart enough to _see_ and to wonder, but there she was, paying more mind to his younger brother and cowering behind her mother as any child would. He felt a sigh coming on, every moment making him further believe the look in her eyes had been a farce, nothing more than a fleeting trick of the light or something to that effect.

* * *

 ** _an._** _IF YOU NEVER READ THESE, I SUGGEST READING LAST CHAPTERS NOTICE._

 _ALSO WHILE I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE REVIEW._


	29. i: curiosity pt three

_disclaimer: i have too much to say so hijacking the disclaimer to tell everyone my mom's alright for now, and so's the baby :))))_

 _also, still don't own._

* * *

 **xxix.**

 **curiosity pt. three**

* * *

"A nightmare?" He murmured, forcing his attention on the blonde woman.

His interest dimmed, nothing more than a flicker as he glanced at the girl who acted as any normal child should. He would end it here, take Sasuke back home and think nothing more of the interaction but in brief passing, Itachi decided.

Sakura's mother nodded, a worried frown on her face as she smoothed her daughter's pink hair, oblivious to the child's violent flinches; Itachi, however, was not.

"A terrible one," Her voice dropped, "She said everyone had died, all of Konoha."

His curiosity reappeared with a vengeance.

* * *

 ** _an._** _okay, that's a wrap on the 'curiosity' chapters. i wanted to post the whole trilogy since i skipped out all yesterday on chapters. also, we'll move back to saku-chan after this for a while. things will start to move a little faster, some gaps in time will occur between chapters more often._

 _(i think all the people who don't read my an.s are really missing out on cool information though)_

 _(and story in general but that's just me)_


	30. the one who killed the world

_disclaimer: it'll be okay, i really don't_ need _to own naruto. *sniffs*_

* * *

 **xxx.**

 **the one who killed the world**

* * *

Sakura tried not to growl as her mother carelessly blathered on, telling Uchiha Itachi–who already was much too curious–the 'nightmare' she had. Four-year-olds, on principle, didn't usually dream about the destruction of their village and she worried it would only leave him more interested. She could feel his eyes on her, searching for something she didn't want him to see.

"He looked like you," She whispered shakily, pointing at Sasuke, hoping the confession would excuse her earlier screaming.

"Who?" Itachi murmured.

"The monster, the one who killed the world," Her tears were genuine, her fear very, very real.

* * *

 _ **an.** sorry for not posting in the last few(?) days. i have the chapters, but im really lazy._


	31. dead

_disclaimer: che, i don't own it, okay?_

* * *

 **xxxii.**

 **dead**

* * *

"I didn't kill nobody!" A childish voice shouted indignantly, black eyes narrowing at her.

Her fingers twitched faintly, remembering the feel of cold metal in her hand as pale flesh opened like a flower in the sun, blooming red. She swallowed hard and turned away, burying her face into the skirt she clung to.

Sakura was speaking before she could stop herself, "I killed him," Her fingers clenched the fabric tightly as she caught eyes with the people around her, "He's dead now, I promise."

"He's dead, Naruto, he's dead," She murmured inaudibly, watching not-there blood drip off her hands.

* * *

 _ **an.**_ _shit was kind of okay for a few chapters there, so i figured i'd make a fucked-up one to balance it out. in case you didn't read between the lines there, she killed sasu-cakes in her future._ _and also if you were wondering why she keeps messing up and revealing some not-okay information, sakura's psyche is kind of really in a not good place right now and being somewhere she's (almost) always felt safe in, is scrambling up her mind and she can't help but seek comfort._


	32. fainting

_disclaimer: nothing new here._

* * *

 **xxxii.**

 **fainting**

* * *

She watched his fingers twitch and his head tilt ever so slightly to the left as his eyes searched her hunched form. He'd heard, of course he'd heard.

"Mommy," She whispered, tugging on the blonde's skirt.

She felt hands brushing along her face and stiffened, "It's okay baby, you didn't kill anyone."

She could feel Uchiha Itachi's eyes on her, feel the warm and confusing comfort her mother was emitting and around her people were still talking, talking, talking. The sun shining suddenly felt like fire, the chatting turned to screams and smoke filled her vision.

The world went black.

* * *

 ** _an._** _like i mentioned, i'm really lazy :/_

 _maito gai kind of wrote himself in so..._ _just letting you know, warning you._

 _(on a side note, it is really hard only doing 100 words. i feel like so much gets cut out)_


	33. training time

_disclaimer: little girls can't own anime/manga/movie franchises sorry._

* * *

 **xxxiii.**

 **training time**

* * *

Her bright green eyes opened slowly this time, confused and disoriented despite spending the last half-hour pretending to be asleep, trying to figure out her whereabouts. Everything was soft and fluffy and _pink_ , like cotton candy. Her heart dropped into her stomach like a stone. She was still here. The house was silent, but if she strained her ears she was pretty sure she could hear low murmurs downstairs–her parents, most likely.

' _You really freaked out there, huh?' Inner snickered._

"Shut up," She mumbled, rubbing her forehead, "What time is it?"

' _Nighttime'_

She corrected her with a grin, "Training time."

* * *

 _ **an.**_ _so this chapter is called 'training time' but the chapter after the next one is called 'training' because it doesn't have any keywords for titles._


	34. square one

_disclaimer: here ye! here ye! i don't own Naruto, just this plot (if you could call it that)_

* * *

 **xxxiv.**

 **square one**

* * *

Sweat slid down her forehead, mixing with the frustrated tears leaking out beneath her lids. For a brief moment, chakra surged to her feet and she launched herself towards the tree, only to fall.. The scowl on her face deepened as she bit back a wail of anger.

' _I'm weak,'_ She hissed in her mind.

' _You're four.'_

Inner was right, of course, but it didn't make her any less irritated and hopeless. Sakura was used to breaking boulders with a single touch and stomping craters into existence, not failing a simple tree-climbing exercise.

' _I guess we're back at square one.'_

* * *

 ** _an._** _you guys should review more :(_


	35. training

_disclaimer: hmmm... no._

* * *

 **xxxv.**

 **training**

* * *

Her legs collapsed beneath her, limbs all akimbo as she gasped desperately for breath. Her lungs burned, her muscles felt like fire and she was hurting in every inch of her body, but her mind was clear and free. She had needed this, this feeling of being where she belonged, working until she couldn't feel her bones and then more.

"This is good," She wheezed, staring up into the lightening sky, "This is really, really good."

She waited for her breath to regain an even pattern and then bounced back up, ignoring the tear-bringing pain of her body.

"Let's go!"

* * *

 ** _an._** _up next, the short trilogy of chapters aptly named: Konoha's Sublime Green Beast of Prey!_

 _stay tuned!_


	36. Konoha's Sublime Green Beast of Prey! i

_disclaimer: don't own it._

* * *

 **xxxvi.**

 **Konoha's Sublime Green Beast of Prey! pt. one**

* * *

"Yosh! Let us train!" A voice sounded beside her, making her flip backwards into the air, scrambling for some semblance of a weapon.

' _When the hell did he get here?'_ She hissed to Inner, who was half-sleeping.

' _While you were having that whole 'staring at the sky' moment.'_

Maito Guy stood in front of her, teeth blindingly white. Sakura felt herself falling, memories of blood on her hands, last words and broken promises speeding through her head. He was another dead man coming to haunt her, it seemed.

Panic and fear and _dark_ washed over her, pushing her into nothing.

* * *

 _ **an.** switching temporarily to roman numerals to name the chapters in parts, because 'pt. one', 'pt. two' and 'pt. three' are too long to fit at the end of the title. so it'll be 'i' 'ii' and 'iii' at the end of each, respectively. _


	37. Konoha's Sublime Green Beast of Prey! ii

_disclaimer: mm... no._

* * *

 **xxxvii.**

 **Konoha's Sublime Green Beast of Prey! pt. two**

* * *

She woke up, eyes snapping open and ready to leap into battle, only to come face to face with the most hideous pair of eyebrows ever seen. She had seen a lot of things; terrifying, petrifying, way-more-gruesome than-eyebrows things, but Maito Gai looking down at her with something like _concern_ on his face? Sakura opened her mouth and let out the most horrific screech, something between a dying cat and a train.

' _He's supposed to be dead!'_ She wailed, panic bubbling up.

' _Shut up, idiot! You're in the past, remember?'_ Inner snarled.

"Oh, right," She muttered.

Gai smiled brightly.

* * *

 _ **an.** i would like to use this moment in order to properly thank everyone who listened to my an. and reviewed! so thank you to; _

lauchoco92- _i know they're so short :( bothers me too!_

LoonyTuned- _i agree, she's pushing herself a little too hard and not really enjoying the fact she's got another whole lifetime to fix things._

Akari-chann-Uchiha _(times two!)_ \- _yea, right now she's going a bit hard on herself but it'll change... eventually. she has to readjust. and yep, she'll be a lot stronger, have stronger bonds–all that good stuff._


	38. Konohas Sublime Green Beast of Prey! iii

_disclaimer: I AM NOT_

* * *

 **xxxviii.**

 **Konoha's Sublime Green Beast of Prey! pt. three**

* * *

"Thank you for training with me, Gai-sensei!" She chirped, feigning the brightest voice possible.

It was hard, spending the rest of the morning, until sunrise, seeing and talking to a man she definitely knew was dead. With her parents, it had been easier–she hadn't felt their blood soaking into her clothes, hadn't made promised she'd never had any intention of keeping. The burning in her body helped keep her grounded, however, and afterwards, she felt a little better knowing this Gai, at least, did not blame her.

He flashed a blinding smile and posed, "It is no problem, youthful Sakura-chan!"

* * *

 _ **an.** i started and finished watching _'Sherlock' _(the bbc series)_

 _im thinking about dabbling in some Sherlock and Harry Potter crossovers. if i do it probably wouldn't be published for a while, maybe not even on this account. but i've read a bunch of Sherlock and Hermione fics and i like them._

 _shrug; i guess we'll see then, hmm?_


	39. four-year-olds can't take showers

_disclaimer: 'nuff said_

* * *

 **xxxix.**

 **four-year-olds can't take showers**

* * *

Sakura was having a Dilemma, capital 'D' and all. As it were, she'd forgotten that she was four and tiny.

She stared at her room in contemplation, sweat clinging to her skin, bright pink locks damp and dirty.

' _This is...'_

Inner seethed _, 'Catastrophic? Disastrous? Calamitous? Dire? Apocalyptic? Ruinous? Absolutely, positively-'_

' _-Not good,'_ She grumped, ' _I was going to say not good.'_

' _FOUR-YEAR-OLDS CAN'T TAKE SHOWERS!'_

She stared at her dirty, mud-streaked reflection, ' _To a river then. Or a lake.'_

' _How are you planning to get dry then?' Her counterpart seethed._

"One problem at a time," She muttered resolutely, eyes determined.

* * *

 ** _an._** _to anyone else who writes out there: do you ever HAVE to write? like if i have an idea or something i get physical aches in my chest unless i write it all down. like i can be anywhere and i get this idea, or see something from a fandom and my heart actually hurts._

 _sounds really weird, right?_


	40. being

_disclaimer: it's a no from me._

* * *

 **xl.**

 **being**

* * *

She found out–the hard way–that bodies of water were no less cold, even when not in an apocalyptic world ran by two madmen. Still, the habitual scrubbing was a small comfort despite the fact that this time she hadn't a single real injury and wasn't covered in bits of entrails and blood, trying to drown the smell of murder. Inner's gripping was a quiet voice in her head, ignored in favor of clearing her mind and just...

being.

Her relaxation, however, was short-lived because she had an entire word to rescue and protect.

(also, a breakfast in need of eating.)

* * *

 _ **an.** spring break is almost over :( _


	41. war zone

_disclaimer: sorry but nu_

* * *

 **xli.**

 **war zone**

* * *

Her mother fretted about looking _tense_ and her father muttered about looking _wet._ Sakura ignored both, silently eating her breakfast and trying to force chakra to the surface of her skin. Circulating chakra was an effective method for heating up a body and subsequently might help her dry off a bit.

"Any nightmares last night, sweetheart?" Her mother murmured, pressing hands to her cheeks.

She shook her head and smiled weakly, body tensed like a coil. Every little move had her twitching slightly, her fingers curling and uncurling.

' _Relax,'_ Inner mumbled, dozing lightly, ' _We're not in a war-zone anymore, Sakura.'_

* * *

 _ **an.** sorry for not updating for like, idk, nine days. _


	42. reminder

_disclaimer: ayy lmao_

* * *

 **x** **lii.**

 **reminder**

* * *

Fingers brushed through her rose-hued hair, a soft hum filling the otherwise still air as she tried to close her eyes and relax. Her stomach was knotted tight, hands trembling as she gripped the vanity with white-knuckles and gritted teeth.

"Are you feeling better?" Her mother asked gently, twisting her hair upwards.

Her body jerked instinctively as Mebuki's nails lightly scraped against her neck, "I'm fine,"

"Sorry, sweetheart."

Sakura stared at her reflection as her mother finished, watching the little girl with cherub cheeks and wide eyes gazing back. She had to remind herself, once again, that it was her.

* * *

 _ **important, informative an.** so, in a few chapters (like two) i'll have two chapters from the pov of an ANBU member. this member won't be named because it will most likely be the only time they show up. HOWEVER, throughout the story (at least during the period where Sakura's identity is kept secret) there will be multiple chapters in ANBU pov. _

_THESE WILL NOT ALL BE FROM THE SAME ANBU MEMBER._

 _that's it, that's what i wanted to tell you. once more in case you didn't hear: THE ANBU MEMBERS ARE NOT THE SAME._

 _also, the chapter's titles will be_ ANBU:(title name)


	43. children

_disclaimer: i feel like saying disclaimer makes writing one unnecessary_

* * *

 **xliii.**

 **children**

* * *

She could hear the kids in the park, giggling and snickering to themselves as they pointed clumsy, childish fingers in her direction. A soft breeze swept through the trees, the empty swing beside her rattling as she brushed away a strand of hair that had freed itself from all the pins and ties while ignoring the rude whispers.

Inner was seething inside and although Sakura agreed with her ranting, she was still the picture of serenity; her tiny legs kicking out as the swing swayed. Still, every little movement had her fingers twitching and her breath clogging up her throat.

* * *

 _ **an.** don't forget to review!_

 _(:_


	44. rocks

_disclaimer: hahahahahahahahahaha_

* * *

 **xliv.**

 **rocks**

* * *

She was still sitting on the swings when a particularly _stupid_ boy decided the rules to throwing kunai were probably the same as chucking stones at defenceless little girls. However, the only thing she could see was light glinting off a blade and in less than a second her hand had plucked the rock from midair and hurtled it back as hard as her tiny body allowed into the face of her enemy.

She had already flipped backwards off the swing with eyes impossibly wide when the boy cried out, the stone smacking him in the center of his forehead.

* * *

 ** _an._** _bout to take a shower and then play some smite_


	45. ANBU: observations pt one

_disclaimer: one time i told someone i owned naruto and an entire team of legal people punched me in the throat._

* * *

 **xlv.**

 **observation pt. one**

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto, his current ward, was staring with longing blue eyes at a pink-haired child who calmly swung as a group of kids shouted silly slurs and things meant to insult her. She, however, didn't seem bothered in the least–her little hands loosely holding metal chains as thin legs pumped in the air, urging her swing higher.

He watched, sadly, as older boy scooped up a rock and clumsily flung it in her direction. In less time than it took to blink, the boy was sobbing and the tiny, fragile looking girl was crouched behind the still moving swing.

* * *

 _ **an.** word of warning; i updated this on my phone because my internet is down. fret not, for school still exists and therefore i shall continue updating._


	46. ANBU: observations pt two

_disclaimer: i had two people tell me they like the disclaimers, so this is a shoutout to both of you guys_

 _(but seriously, I literally don't)_

* * *

 **xlvi.**

 **observation pt. two**

* * *

The rapidly forming bruise on the boy told him all he needed to know; the purpling mark was centered on the child's forehead and if it had been a kunai the girl had thrown he was sure he'd would be dead.

There was a moment of still silence in which the pinkette jerkily straightened herself, her wide eyes darting about, and the gaggle of children caught up with the most recent events. Then, in unison, the kids began hurtling handfuls of rocks.

Mere seconds later, without a pink hair out of place, she darted away from the crying children.

* * *

 _ **an.** author notes are kind of hard to write on my phone but ima do it anyways. i originally planned to upload a few oneshots i had in the works and new stories on my birthday next tuesday but i guess not._


	47. secret

_disclaimer: if i owned naruto i would buy like five fish_

 _i have no fish though, so you know what that means_

* * *

 **xlvii.**

 **secret**

* * *

Sakura cursed the soft flicker of chakra from in the trees as she practically ran from the kids, her mind in a turmoil of emotions and panic. She hadn't realized Naruto was at the park until it was too late, hadn't remembered as a child he was guarded by ANBU until she felt the chakra leak out in surprise. Inner cried for the both of them.

She could feel it now, the cloaked chakra signal of an ANBU member even as she fled. It hadn't even been a full two days and she'd already alerted the Hokage of her presence.

* * *

 _ **an.** super sorry about not updating in forever :/ _

_i have the chapters it's just..._

 _im lazy._


	48. great

_disclaimer: bish u thought_

* * *

 **xlviii.**

 **great**

* * *

"Sweetheart, I'm back!"

She to look at her mother who was grasping bags of miscellaneous things she hadn't been able to purchase yesterday after Sakura fainted. She tried hard to smile, her mind preoccupied as she felt the hidden ANBU dart closer, shrouded by the foliage above.

"I missed you," She cried, following Inner's advice, and launching herself at the blonde woman.

Her mother giggled, awkwardly hugging her close, "Did you have a good time?"

Sakura's gaze wandered to the twisting branches above, feeling the ANBU's eyes. She shrugged and smiled weakly.

"It was great."

Curious eyes burned her back.

* * *

 _ **an.** ITS MY BIRTHDAY! ALL CAPS BC ITS MY BIRTHDAY! HEY DID YOU KNOW ITS MY BIRTHDAY? BECAUSE IT IS, IT IT MY BIRTHDAY RIGHT NOW TODAY!_

 _don't forget to review and tell me what you like/don't like_


	49. i: Shisui

_disclaimer: i'm still broke guys._

* * *

 **xlix.**

 **Shisui**

* * *

He breathed in deeply, eyes swirling crimson as he faced off against Shisui, his cousin. Nestled at the base of a large tree, Sasuke was watching the drawn out fight with sleepy interest. Although Itachi had tried to leave him at home, his brother insisted with all the petulance and pleading eyes of a four year old.

A kunai grazed his cheek, forcing him back into the present, "I thought you were a prodigy, 'Tachi?"

With a low growl, his chakra surged; midnight strands flying out behind him as he leapt towards his obnoxious relative. He would show him 'prodigy'.

* * *

 ** _an._** _i haven't forgotten about you guys or this story! in fact, i've been writing this whole time–i have thirty chapters waiting in the wings, now twenty-eight._

 _see, during summer i won't have my MacBook (it's school issued and we only have it up until summer) so i've been trying to get as many chapters done as possible, which means there might be longer lulls for a while as i work on getting a hundred and fifty, maybe more, chapters done. i still want you guys to be able to enjoy the story through the summer._


	50. i: parks and encouragment

_disclaimer: i_ do _own naruto!_

 _/s_

* * *

 **l.**

 **i: parks and encouragement**

* * *

His fingers ran through his brother's wild locks, a small smile lifting at the corner of his lips as the irritated child huffed, attempting to swat his hand away. Onyx eyes met his, a pouting frown on Sasuke's cherub face as the young boy attempted to glare him down. Itachi played the properly cowed older brother, his lips pulling down in an utterly false apology that Sasuke didn't see past.

"The park is stupid, Itachi-nii," He complained; high-pitched and whiny.

Itachi sighed, "It will only be a few hours."

The park came into view and he pushed Sasuke forward encouragingly.

* * *

 ** _an._** _coming soon: the three-way meeting between team seven, chibi edition!_

 _spoiler: saku-chan faints, again._


	51. find Uzumaki

_disclaimer: lolololololol_

 _u sad little soul thinking i might own naruto that cute_

* * *

 **li.**

 **find Uzumaki**

* * *

It took over a week for Mebuki to reluctantly, _very_ reluctantly, agree to let Sakura walk to the park alone. She didn't tell her mother that should anything arise, one more body added to her too-large pile really wouldn't make a difference.

She'd come to the park from earlier in the week with a goal; find Uzumaki Naruto. Her entire soul hurt at the very prospect of seeing him–a form of him at least–in front of her; breathing, smiling.

"This is stupid, Itachi-nii! I want to come with you!"

Her entire body froze up as she turned, ever so slowly.

* * *

 ** _an._** _i feel like you guys probably don't believe i actually have over twenty chapters already written and i'm just to lazy to post them but its legit. i'm a little peeved at myself for not posting them, so you guys should be to._


	52. childlike desperation

_disclaimer: i'm so broke its not funny._

* * *

 **lii.**

 **childlike desperation**

* * *

Her chakra flared like an angry beacon, killing intent leaking for barest of moments as her mind matched a face to the voice. Blood eyes stared at her from her memories, hair shifting shadows onto his pale face as he smiled sickeningly. Her fingers twitched, her body trembling as she prepared to leap. Less than a second had passed but she abruptly fell against the park bench she'd been sitting on, feeling more tired than ever.

Yards away, Uchiha Sasuke was clutching his brother's cloak with childlike desperation in his non-threatening, plain, _black_ eyes. Sakura sighed loudly, conflicting emotions churning.

* * *

 _ **an.** i'm probably most excited to post '_lxvii: teme and dobe' _because it has a nice line in it and stuff gets re-fucked up in it. (hint: saku-chan faints) things are going to be sort of okay for the next like fourteen(?) chapters._

 _what's everyone's favorite chapter/s so far?_

 _review, as always._

 _(tryna keep the review count over the chapter count.)_


	53. starting with the Uchihas pt one

_disclaimer: BITCH U THOUGHT_

* * *

 **liii.**

 **starting with Uchihas pt. one**

* * *

She could see the unshed tears in his eyes, even from this distance. Here she was, watching the child that was going to– _would have_ destroyed every living thing he could find. Her heart trembled in her chest, yearning to reach out and _change_ everything, but anger leaked from her pores like sweat, images of dead comrades burning her.

Uchiha Itachi smiled at his younger brother with such tenderness she thought she might break. Sakura thought about what he'd been forced to do.

She swore she would fix it, even if it hurt.

And she would start with the Uchiha brothers.

* * *

 _ **an.**_ _hello! so, i have recently been informed that i don't have to give my macbook back! i'm taking some courses online over the summer, so i get to keep my school issued macbook, at least for a while._

 _due to this, guess who's back to updating every other day! me!_

 _(probably.)_


	54. not cute, deadly

_disclaimer: ayyyyyyyy lmao_

* * *

 **liv.**

 **not cute, deadly.**

* * *

She forced her legs forward, pink hair swishing against her neck loosely as she smoothed down the childish green dress her mother insisted was 'cute'. If Sakura was honest with herself, she'd thought it cute the first time around as well, but now it was silly and impractical. Besides, she was not cute, she was deadly. Tiny fingers slowly stiffened as she forced her hands out of tightly curled fists, forcing a wide, bright-eyed smile onto her face. She was skilled in faking emotions, even if she'd slipped up a few times.

"Hey, I know you!" She cried, convincingly cheerful.

* * *

 _ **an.** mm, i hate the name of this chapter, but *shrug* i'm working on some more stories, specifically 'Sakura's Voodoo Service', as it's been tentatively named. you can check the summery on my profile, where a bunch of in-the-works story summaries are. _

_DONT FORGET TO REVIEW, THANK._


	55. i: shut up!

_disclaimer: IN CANON INNER SAK ISN'T EVEN THERE EVER AND I WOULD NEVER DO THAT SO OBV. I DON'T OWN BECAUSE I LOVE INNER LIKE HONESTLY LETS BE REAL SHE'S A GREAT PERSON I LOVE HER._

* * *

 **lv.**

 **i: shut up!**

* * *

Itachi remembered her better than he remembered most strangers. Mostly because this one had bright pink hair and intelligent eyes that pierced him to the core, seeing everything but divulging nothing. She was smiling widely, rosey locks loose around her face as she beamed at Sasuke and himself.

His brother made a dismayed, aggravated noise, "No you don't, go away!"

"Sasuke," He chided softly, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Sakura bounced up to the both of them, "Uh huh, you're Sasuke," She pointed at Itachi.

"And you're Itachi!" She smiled at Sasuke.

His brother glared, "Shut up!"

* * *

 _ **an.** schools out, scream and shout! moar itachi because love him. _

_also, sasuke's kind of a little jerk-hole but that's because i feel like he would be as a kid with his family still around, you know?_

 _he won't be like this forever, promise._


	56. i: seeing

_disclaimer: honestly i'm like 50% white so ?_

* * *

 **vi.**

 **i: seeing**

* * *

Haruno Sakura giggled and grinned at his brother, having mixed up the names on purpose, but Itachi could still see the blinding rage that lurked beneath her spring green irises. Light purple bags dusted underneath her eyes, and he was reminded why he'd become interested in the first place.

"Hello, Sakura," He murmured politely.

Her smile softened slightly as she looked up at him, eyes just as searching as they'd been the first time. He looked back into the endless pools of green and vainly fought to see _something_.

She turned away first, smile re-widened, "Come play with me, Sasuke-kun!"

* * *

 _ **an.** as always, friends, review :) _

_(thanks to all who have, just by the way. i read and appreciate and feel for every one of them.)_


	57. snort

_disclaimer: i've never owned an entire manga and anime series but it seems like a lot of work._

* * *

 **lvii.**

 **snort**

* * *

She tugged the petulant, bratty Sasuke along, her hand burning at the contact as bile rose in her throat. She was glad she hadn't any kunai–she might stab him otherwise. Having turned away from Uchiha Itachi moments before, she found herself a little rattled still. The boy was too smart; his eyes, so much like Sasuke's and yet so different, bore into her like he was planning to dissect her bit by bit until he found what he wanted.

She heard a small snort when she smacked Sasuke's head and turned just as the older Uchiha vanished into the trees.

* * *

 _ **an.** i love itachi, i really do. _

_like i said, these next few chapters or so are all going to be really... chill._ _not a lot of terrible, horrible things._

 _boo, i_ knoooow _._


	58. difficult

_disclaimer: i'm not even really asian at all so._

* * *

 **lviii.**

 **difficult**

* * *

Sasuke was... difficult.

He had been rude when he was twelve, but at least it was because his entire family was dead.

Or so she'd thought.

Evidently, Uchiha Sasuke was just prickly in general. Even at the age of four, he sent her daggers in the form of glares and tried to break her fingers when she pulled him along. If she was being truthful, she thought it a bit endearing, but for the most part he was someone who would have grown to kill everyone and everything she'd ever loved, so 'cute' and 'endearing' were smothered by icy hatred.

* * *

 ** _an._** _i inhale reviews, please leave them for me, yes i am pathetic, thats okay._

 _on a sadder note, i REALLY should be updating other stories..._


	59. sunshine

_disclaimer: sorry folks, i've tried real hard but no still luck on that whole 'owning naruto' thing._

* * *

 **lix.**

 **sunshine**

* * *

She was sitting on the bench, swinging her legs back and forth with as much childish innocence she could muster as Sasuke skulked against a tree, obviously having already learned how to scowl. The other children, while they wanted to play with Sasuke, remembered her from just a short while ago and refused to come near her. It happened to be the only reason the black-eyed boy had stayed–he'd tried to abandon her earlier but was immediately pounced on by the gaggle of children.

She stiffened quite suddenly, the feeling of warmth and the taste of sunshine on her tongue.

* * *

 _ **an.** so just a heads up, updates will probably come around this time or late in the evening. since i no longer have school, my sleep schedule has reverted itself to my natural nocturnal habits. _

_basically, i'm awake from around four or five in the evening until around six or seven in the morning._


	60. nostalgia

_disclaimer: don't own naruto_

 _also, thanks to all that have reviewed!_

* * *

 **lx.**

 **nostalgia**

* * *

He was darting about on the outskirts of the park, hiding behind trees as the ANBU above him watched carefully, she supposed at least. Sakura, as well, was watching quite carefully, her entire body one mass of excited, barely suppressed energy as she felt him drawing closer to Sasuke and herself, no doubt curious. She caught a flash of blonde, the slight feeling of his chakra spiking as she gasped in feigned surprise.

"Hello?" She asked shakily.

Sasuke stepped up, his brows furrowed as he pushed her behind him. Longing and nostalgia shot through her heart as Naruto moved forward.

* * *

 ** _an._** _the next three chapters are sort of in a format. they suck but it's good for like... character building sort of. *shrug_

 _it's a three part similarly worded set of chapters detailing the first meeting between team seven._

 _also review. plzplz_


	61. here they were pt one

_disclaimer:_

 _1\. own naruto_

 _2\. ?_

 _3\. PROFIT!_

* * *

 **lxi.**

 **here they were pt. one**

* * *

 _Here they were, with their cherub faces and fat, clumsy fingers, dawdling on legs just strong enough to support their weight._

Naruto's cheeks were chubby despite being considerably scrawnier than the two of them, having eaten little in terms of nutrition, yet his bright blue eyes like a thousand summer skies still shone with an uncrushable hope and _light_.

His clothes were too big and his wrists too small, but it didn't matter because he was _there_. Hunched slightly, curled in on himself like he was trying to disappear even as his eyes looked at them with curiosity and fear.

* * *

 _ **an.** yea, the next to chapters are as bad as this one. _

_if you liked this, great._

 _if you didn't, great._

 _i, personally, don't like them. i tried it, i liked it. i looked at it like two weeks later and now i don't. why didn't i change it? because they're chapters dedicated solely to descriptions of team seven's members and i think it's good to have._


	62. here they were pt two

_disclaimer: writing disclaimer kind of speaks for itself, don't you think?_

* * *

 **lxii.**

 **here they were pt. two**

* * *

 _Here they were, with their cherub faces and fat, clumsy fingers, dawdling on legs just strong enough to support their weight._

Wind ruffled Sasuke's untamable black locks, forcing them into an even more disarrayed state. His mouth was pulled into the perpetual frowning grimace she'd known him to sport, yet his dark obsidian irises swam with surprise and confusion and _curiosity_.

His clothes were too pristine and his face too pale, but it didn't matter because he was _there._ Feet spread and scowl in place, Sasuke tried to look threatening even as he searched Naruto's face with poorly concealed interest.

* * *

 _ **an.** so, like fifty-nine days till sasu-cakes birthday. no, i have't been counting. HOWEVER, right now the story sort of coincides with real-time dates. for instance, it's june/may right now in this story. i haven't decided which. POINT BEING, july twenty-third is sasuke's birthday. i have chapters in mind relating to sasuke's birthday. i am now in the process of timing things out so that the chapters end up being posted on his birthday. that is all. _


	63. here they were pt three

_disclaimer: it's honestly more likely that i'm a murderer._

* * *

 **lxiii.**

 **here they were pt. three**

* * *

 _Here they were, with their cherub faces and fat, clumsy fingers, dawdling on legs just strong enough to support their weight._

Sakura's jaw locked as she thrashed her chakra into submission to keep it from lashing out wildly. Her pink hair played in the slight breeze as she stared, eyes like blossoming buds and growing grass dancing with pain and _longing_.

Her clothes were too childish, her fists clenched too tightly, but it didn't matter because she was _there_. Heart pounding, emotions going haywire, she tried to look a least halfway composed even as she felt her own tears fall.

* * *

 ** _an._** _aaand it's over. i_ _, for one, am glad._

 _as always, review :) love hearing from you guys._

 _(also more itachi coming your way in five chapters. so six days, i think?)_


	64. Uzumaki Naruto, dattebayo!

_disclaimer: i'm pretty sure i was like six or something when naruto started, maybe younger._

* * *

 **lxiv.**

 **Uzumaki Naruto, dattebayo!**

* * *

"Who are you?" Sasuke asked brusquely, his stance shifting slightly as Sakura peeked her head over his shoulder.

Naruto looked like he was going to cry while he stared at her, the tears still dripping from her eyes as she felt the heat Sasuke radiated, felt the chakra swirling inside Naruto's body. They were both real and here and _alive._ At the moment, memories of death and decay faded as images of D-ranked missions on sunny days swam through her mind. These were her beloved boys, the one who'd died and the one she'd murdered.

"I-I'm Uzumaki Naruto, dattebayo!"

* * *

 ** _an._** _kind of a little off-time with this update but i fell asleep crouching my cat a sweater and watching '_ The Emperors New Groove _' so sue me._

 _man i wish there was more itasaku in the world, y'know? like i get it, canon-sakura kind of sucks but i mean she has SO MUCH potential. so much._

 _also itachi's pretty cute so._


	65. introductions

_disclaimer: honestly i'm not even sure if i own this plot  
_

* * *

 **lxv.**

 **introductions**

* * *

He flinched back, as if expecting an attack–which, when she thought about it, he probably was. The scowl on Sasuke's face deepened as he turned away abruptly, nose in the air.

"My father told me not to talk to _you_ ," He growled, looking at her pointedly in a way that meant ' _C'mon'_.

She sniffed haughtily and spun heel on Sasuke with a frown, "I'm Haruno Sakura!"

Naruto winced, peeking at her, "Ain'tcha gonna yell at me?"

"No!"

There was a brief silence.

"Uchiha Sasuke," The black-haired boy finally grumbled, not facing them.

Naruto's smile could have lit up the universe.

* * *

 _ **an.** cue the awwws. i liked these two chapters, i think they're cute. 'brat-tastic' sasuke is just so... he's just the best, man. i love little team seven._

 _review guys! still tryna keep the review number above the chapter number but it's getting a little close._


	66. dirty

_disclaimer: che._

 _;)_

* * *

 **lxvi.**

 **dirty**

* * *

Naruto's blonde hair had sand falling out every time he shook his head, which he did often. Specks clinging to his clothes flew as he tried to brush them away with equally sandy hands. His lips pulled down into a frown, whisker marks wrinkling on his face.

Sasuke wasn't better; flecks of dirt and grass caught in his locks from where Naruto had pushed him from a swing. His clothes were probably dirtier than they'd ever been and his knee was sporting a decent sized gash that Sakura was forcing herself to ignore, lest she cave and try healing it.

* * *

 ** _an._** _i'm thinking about making a tumblr (courtesy of SomebodyLost) and i guess the question is, should i?_

 _i'm thinking maybe sometime in the future, like when i have more stories up and stuff._


	67. teme and dobe

_disclaimer: i own a fair amount of things, however naruto is not among them._

 _i know it sucks, but we'll make it through._

* * *

 **lxvii.**

 **teme and dobe**

* * *

"Teme!" Naruto screeched at Sasuke.

Said boy gaped in shock at Naruto, before he bristled and snarled, "D-dobe!"

Sakura made a noise that sounded like a wounded animal, her brows furrowing together as she hunched over and clutched her forehead. Memories assaulted her, battering her brain and fighting for visibility.

Naruto's bright eyes, even as he gripped her hand and whispered to her with his last breath.

Sasuke's gaunt, pale face as she plunged a kunai into his chest over and over until her hands matched his eyes.

She fainted, again–for the third time since she'd arrived in the past.

* * *

 ** _an._** _i liked this, maybe not all of it, but i liked the line about sasuke. i would even say i'm proud of it._

 _i know i say this a lot, but don't forget to review. i really do read and appreciate all of them._


	68. i: itachi-nii!

_disclaimer: imagine if like a fanfiction writer actually bought out the rights to a franchise wouldn't that be cool?_

* * *

 **lxviii.**

 **i: itachi-nii!**

* * *

Sasuke's brows were furrowed, the skin between them wrinkling as the corners of his lips tugged downward. Itachi stared at his younger brother for a long moment, searching his cherub, pale face for any signs of injury. Although he looked distressed, Itachi couldn't see any reason why he might be.

"Itachi-nii?" His brother asked quietly, pudgy fingers curling around his wrist.

"Hn?"

"Could you-" Sasuke was abruptly cut off.

A boy burst through the trees, the whiskers on his cheeks as prominent as his sunshine hair and bright blue eyes, "Sasuke-teme! Hurry up and get help! What if she _dies_ ‽"

* * *

 _ **an.** things are going to be..._

cute

 _for a little while. gasp. surprise. wow. i know. like, seven chapters a while._

 _both chapters updated on wednesday will be itachi povs and he's gonna have a few sprinkled in between sak's._


	69. i: naturally

_disclaimer: if i owned naruto i would probably buy a ton of fish._

 _i love fish._

 _(like, the living kind.)_

* * *

 **lxix.**

 **i: naturally**

* * *

Itachi wasn't sure why he followed his younger brother and the Nine-Tails container further into the park. He supposed it was the worry that pinched Sasuke's face, the way the sunny-haired boy's hands trembled as he led them. It might have also been his curiosity rearing it's head and flooding him like stormy ocean waves.

A head of pastel pink came into view, sprawled out on the ground. Haruno Sakura's tiny chest moved softly and Itachi wasn't surprised to find that it was she the two boys had been talking about. He'd suspected it was her from the start, naturally.

* * *

 _ **an.** isn't itachi a little cutie-pie? _

_review because i'm actually a child and i need attention and praise._


	70. i: of prince charming

_disclaimer: you know what i do own though?_

 _a cat._

 _and also, a fish._

* * *

 **lxx.**

 **i: of prince charming**

* * *

He'd tried to tell the two, panicky children that Sakura would be fine, but Sasuke scowled at him and the Nine-Tails container–Naruto, he had to remind himself–looked on with sky-blue eyes that pleaded for something Itachi had no control over. As far as he was concerned, she'd had another fainting fit; just as she had when he'd first met her.

"Itachi-nii, you have to kiss her!" His brother bursted out, black eyes looking wide and hopeful.

Naruto's face scrunched up, "How would that help, teme?"

"That's how it is in the stories, dobe!" Sasuke hissed, big eyes begging.

Itachi sighed.

* * *

 _ **an.** le'mme just tell you, i think these two chapters are adorable. however, i am very sleep deprived so don't quote me on that. _

_okay, so i started health online right, because i don't want to waste any electives taking it, but it's basically half a semester's worth of work in four weeks and wowee i have a lot to do in little time. but it's okay 'cuz i spent most of tonight (this morning?) working and i'm ahead for about a week. the goal is to get done with everything really early so i can get back to chapterssssssssssssss._

 _i'm sorry i'm tired._


	71. i: of not-so-sleeping beauty

_disclaimer: am dirt._

 _own no thing._

* * *

 **lxxi.**

 **i: of not-so-sleeping beauty**

* * *

There was a brief moment where he thought his brother might actually _force_ him to kiss a sleeping four year old. He seemed rather adamant that Itachi was close enough to a prince, being clan heir and all, and that Sakura was sort of like a princess.

Uzumaki Naruto jumped right on board after Sasuke's explanation, as both of them firmly insisted that there wasn't any other way she would wake up.

"What if she dies, Itachi-nii?" Sasuke cried.

"I'm not dead and I don't want to kiss your brother." Sakura muttered groggily.

This time, his sigh was in relief.

* * *

 ** _an._** _WE'RE TWO REVIEWS AWAY FROM_ _100 REVIEWS YAayYAY_ _(SO REVIEW)_

 _lol sakura was asleep and i want to be asleep lol._

 _no, but i stayed up 'cuz i forgot to post the chapters and i wanted everybody (at least in the U.S prob) to be able to wake up per usual and read this and now i'll take anap bye._


	72. innocence

_disclaimer: honestly guys._

* * *

 **lxxii.**

 **innocence**

* * *

Waking up was getting easier, but she was still working on it. Every muscle in her body tightened while her chakra spread, feeling for anything and everything around her. An ANBU in the trees, Naruto, Sasuke and–

She frowned, straining her ears and catching bits and pieces of a conversation that started long before she'd woken up.

If she'd opened her eyes, she would be rolling them. For all the destruction and death that Uchiha Sasuke had caused, he wasn't more than a child now and the fact he thought a _kiss_ , _from his brother_ , would wake her proved that.

* * *

 _ **an**. super sorry about not posting these yesterday, time got a way from me_

 _so the next three chapters will be kind of neutrally sad, and then two more cute chapters and then more sad stuff that just gets more and more depressing._

 _:)))))_


	73. starting with the Uchihas pt two

_disclaimer: if i owned naruto it would probably not be called naruto because i would name it sakura since i love her._

* * *

 **lxxiii.**

 **starting with the Uchihas pt. two**

* * *

She avoided looking at Itachi–no doubt he had questions she didn't want to give him answers to. However, he hadn't tried to maim Naruto yet which was good. Still, each time he came into the immediate vicinity of her sunny friend, Sakura's fingers twitched around an invisible kunai as she remembered the man he'd been in the future.

' _It wasn't his fault,'_ Inner, who'd been uncharacteristically silent recently, murmured.

' _I know.'_

Inner's voice sounded like the child she'd once been and not the war-ravaged girl she'd become, ' _We're gonna fix it though, right?'_

' _Starting with the Uchihas.'_ She replied firmly.

* * *

 _ **an.**_ _oh my gosh, more reviews than usual on the last update! you guys make me so happy; so heres a big thanks to everyone who reviewed:_

 _abiline, Sa (guest), silentworld11, Art is an Eternal Bang, MagiCrackPairings, and Bluenara (who left an extra long review, thanks!)_

 ** _special s/o to_ callmeportgas _who was the 99th and 100th reviewer!_**

 _don't forget to keep reviewing ;)_


	74. back

_disclaimer: it literally says disclaimer like c'mon fam._

* * *

 **lxxiv.**

 **back**

* * *

Sasuke muttered something insulting under his breath and Naruto cried, but Sakura assured both of them that she would come back, no matter what. Itachi had been patiently waiting for Sasuke to tire himself out, but he stood suddenly, frowning.

"It's unsafe to walk alone, especially for a child, I will walk you back."

"Itachi-nii! You can't leave me here!" Sasuke cried, as Naruto claimed he wanted to walk her home also.

Sakura smiled softly, looking at her two boys wearing matching, adorable frowns, "C'mon then!"

They watched her back as she took off, tugging a reluctant Itachi with her.

* * *

 ** _an._** _ooh it gets alittle cute some more. sorry for not updating earlier per my usual schedule; unfortunately i am an irresponsible mess and missed like... waaay too many days of school, so much so that i now have to go to summer school to make them up. which brings me here, to updating later._

 _(basically i just sit in a library from like 7 AM until 2:30, honestly it's the worst.)_


	75. i: races

_disclaimer: if i owned naruto i would be rich and we all know that will never happen_

* * *

 **lxxv.**

 **i: races**

* * *

Haruno Sakura was an enigma, he thought as he ran alongside her. Her face was lit with cheer, eyes glistening happily in the dying light of the day as she laughed and threw her head back, pink locks catching the sun.

"Sakura-chan! You're too fast!" Naruto cried.

Itachi spared a moment to glance back. The blonde-haired boy was grinning wildly, feet causing gravel to skid about as he raced after them like a young puppy, hair falling into his face and feet tripping. Sasuke was more composed, a small smile gracing his face as he darted forward, gaining on them.

* * *

 ** _an._** _review/follow/favorite and all that crap. but mostly just review because i will love you._

 _also, does anyone have some good fic recs? i've basically read anything and everything sak-centric but if i'm going to spend like 20 hours in a library i'd like to be entertained._


	76. i: laughter

_disclaimer: yeehaww y'all know I don't own this rodeo._

* * *

 **lxxvi.**

 **i: laughter**

* * *

"We have to go faster!" Sakura cried from beside him, tiny hand still gripping his wrist like a lifeline.

He was air, free and weightless as she tugged on his hand and forced him forward, eyes like emeralds. His curiosity burned hotter as he watched her turn and stick out her tongue. A low chuckle escaped him involuntarily. His jaw shut with an audible click, but she'd heard.

Big green eyes stared at him for a long moment before becoming even brighter as she laughed with her entire body and pushed herself farther forward, ahead of him.

"Hurry up, Itachi!"

* * *

 ** _an._** _mm, sorry this is late i spent most of the day sleeping. little bit of cute this chapter, little bit of sad next and then the next two chapters will sort of be neutral and then finally, everything will get back to that sad/depressing/every-thing's-fucked-up! yayyyy!_

 _(also thank you guys so much for all the fic recs! i've read basically everything you guys recommended (because i have nothing else in life except fanfiction) but i read kill your heros again–which i worship–and you guys gave me a lot of new authors to stalk!)_


	77. a child

_disclaimer:_ _me=trash_

 _trash=not kishimoto_

 _not kishimoto=not owner_

 _therefore_

 _me=not owner_

* * *

 **lxxvii.**

 **a child**

* * *

The air vanished abruptly, leaving her suffocating. She heard Naruto and Sasuke's laughter, even Itachi's low chuckles, but her heart had stopped, her vision blurring with tears.

It was a brief lapse of control, Inner–and the subsequently still childish side of her–had leaked into her own thoughts and she'd found herself grinning and giggling like a...

Like a child.

"Sakura-san, are you alright?" Itachi asked quietly, slowing down slightly.

Despite the fact that her head felt fuzzy and her body felt weak, she forced herself to nod and continue on. She wouldn't faint again; she refused to continue messing up.

* * *

 ** _an._** _yo yo yo. so yea, next two chapters are neutral and then all the shit gets fucked up per the usual and sak gets all depressed and then there's a brief inspiring moment and then more sad junk. yay_

 _i'm almost done owing hours praise be_


	78. breathe

_disclaimer: yea...no_

* * *

 **lxxviii.**

 **breathe**

* * *

Naruto and Sasuke caught up easily soon after, gasping for air and radiating childish joy. Sweat dripped off their faces but both wore matching grins and wild-eyed stares. She closed her eyes to prevent tears; the same tears she had thought were long since dried up. Fingers clenched and unclenched as their group walked along the street, her sunshine-blonde friend talking loudly–oblivious to the storm-cloud brewing above them.

Fresh spring wind blew through the trees, but all Sakura smelt was smoke and burning flesh. The sound of metal on metal pounded against her head, unrelenting.

"Sakura-san?" Itachi murmured.

She breathed.

* * *

 _ **an.** this is late, i know. real sorry, my sleep schedule is all sorts of wonky right now. and by 'all sorts' i mean i just woke up like thirty minutes ago. _

_anyways,WE'RE BACK BABY! some borderline depressing stuff. all i can say is that cutesy stuff is behind us for AT LEAST the next ten chapters. because apparently i'm now only ten chapters in advance, i've been slacking :(_


	79. i: questions

_disclaimer: still trying_

 _still failing._

* * *

 **lxxix.**

 **i: questions**

* * *

Big, _green_ , eyes looked up at him, but instead of the light, shiny, grass-green color he'd seen them as moments before, they were dull and lifeless.

"Yes?" Her voice lacked any real warmth.

Questions fought for freedom on the tip of his tongue, his eyes searching her porcelain face for answers. He watched her spine stiffen even more as they walked, fingers wriggling by her sides.

He wouldn't be able to do it, he knew. The answers that he sought weren't going to be given to him unless he searched for them.

Instead, he asked quietly, "How close are we?"

* * *

 _ **an.** nobody really reviewed last chapters (except for sa, super thanks to them also as a reply; yea, i read most of them before but i did see some that i hadn't and i read those) so review! i love reviews and i feed off them. they are my only lifesource. _


	80. comfortable

_disclaimer: duuuuuuude, stoooop._

* * *

 **lxxx.**

 **comfortable**

* * *

The bathwater was warm, her mother's fingers were soft as they ran through her pastel hair and lathered the strands with shampoo. Her tiny arms were wrapped around equally small knees as she rested her chin on her legs. She felt her tears mixing with beads of water on her cheeks as Mebuki hummed. Her blonde mother was singing more to herself than to Sakura, but she listened all the same to the familiar tune of her childhood. Sakura's heart fluttered inside of her chest, warmth filling her up and spilling out of her pores. She felt safe, comfortable even.

* * *

 _ **an.** this chapter was sort of a text block. just one big paragraph, im afraid. _

_this story has started gaining more popularity (by that i mean i rack in about 1.5-2k views per update) and that makes me happy, but people have pmed me/ reviewed (occasionally) that the length of chapter pisses them off. sorry. its a drabble. and honestly the hate falls on deaf ears._


	81. safety

_disclaimer: tbh how many people actually read this like really._

* * *

 **l** **xxxi.**

 **safety**

* * *

"I had a good day today," She whispered, tears falling.

Her mother's fingers stilled, "Really?"

Sakura nodded, "I had a really good day."

She was dizzy with the loving touch of her mother and the warmth of the bathwater swirling around her. The feeling of safety wrapped around her like a thick, wool blanket and everything inside her felt like a balloon, anchored by a single strand.

She hated it. Of all people, she deserved this the least. She kept thinking it should have been Kakashi or Naruto–anyone better than her.

Sakura couldn't even save herself, let alone the world.

* * *

 _ **an.** I CANT EXACTLY REMEMBER WHO GAVE ME THE FIC RECS FOR SOME SAKURA AS HERMIONE/HARRY BUT YOU SUCKED ME BACK INTO THE HP FANFICS AND TOMIONE IS ALL I BREATH. _

_(so basically if you don't hear from me for a while... i have issues following more than one fandom because i sort of have like major obsessive tendencies.)_

 _also review :)_


	82. done

_disclaimer: disCLAMer. idk i dont own naruto._

* * *

 **lxxxii.**

 **done**

* * *

She'd murdered countless innocents, neglected saving hundreds of others. She didn't deserve this, she wanted to die. She'd wanted to die the moment Naruto's life left his body, but she kept going, fueled by the burning need for revenge.

The day she turned twenty-one–the day Uchiha Sasuke took his last breath, his blood staining her shaking hands–she was ready. She'd been done at that point, done with the blood permanently clinging to her skin, done with the festering corpse smell that forever drifted in the wind. She was supposed to die that day, but she didn't.

Instead, she woke up.

* * *

 ** _an._** _oh boyyy its geting a little dark. maybe a more than a little the next chapter is good too._

 _yes, i know i like haven't updated in a week but sorry. i dont really have an excuse. on the bright side i sort of reconnected with one of my writing friends and we're messing around, writing stuff so its nice._


	83. pink walls

_disclaimer: so if i owned naruto some people would not be dead and some wouldn't which is why i dont own naruto._

* * *

 **lxxxii.**

 **pink walls**

* * *

On her birthday she fulfilled her promise to Naruto. Uchiha Sasuke, more monster than man, died beneath her kunai, leaving her nothing more than a hollow, bleeding shell. The fight was brutal; her chakra coils were burned beyond repair and half of her bones were either fractured or broken. Still, it was he who died, a smile in his throat and on his lips. Long after, her blade continued to stab into his heart until her limbs were too weary to move.

Sakura spent three days beside his rotting corpse, dry-eyed and empty before her eyes opened to pink walls.

* * *

 _ **an.** poor, poor saku-chan :( _

_i'm tired, so i'm going to go but as always guys, review! i love feedback and also i love you guys so...!_


	84. pretend ninja

_disclaimer: I don't own naruto, or else there would probably be more people mad that i haven't updated in forever :)_

* * *

 **lxxxiii.**

 **pretend ninja**

* * *

Inner cried for her.

She cried for herself.

They cried for everything Sakura had ever lost and the things that would never come back. The water turned to thick, dark-velvet blood around her and her mother's fingers turned skeletal but still, tears dripped silently. She'd spent so long _(so damn long)_ too busy and blinded by hatred to think about what she'd done.

Her soul was tar-black and shredded, her mind was stitched together with frayed thread, fragile and on the cusp of breaking.

Even after so long, she was still the long-haired, pretend ninja in the Forest of Death.

* * *

 ** _an_** _. heeeyyy... hehe. so i know it's been forever, i still actually have thirteen prewritten chapters right now, but i lost my mac abruptly (it was stolen from me and returned while i was asleep). anyways, though, school is back in and i am once again back in business._

 _updates_ _should start flowing in about a week (i've got to write maybe a dozen or so more chapters, so that i'm ahead) and until then, here are these two chapters. :)_


	85. useless

_disclaimer: okay, but if naruto was mine it would have ended a lot sooner, and with, at least, like five people dying who didn't in cannon._

* * *

 **lxxxiv.**

 **useless**

* * *

"Sakura?"

Her nails dug into her palms.

"Sweetheart?"

Her breath was ragged, her face damp and red from crying as she tried to control her emotions, but to no avail. She was still too weak, too afraid. She was a little girl hiding behind her teammates.

"Sakura, baby, are you okay?"

Inner's voice mixed with her own, "No."

She choked, struggling for breath through her clogged throat as her mother's arms wrapped around her, warm and consoling. She inhaled the familiar, comforting scent of her childhood and let herself break down into high-pitched, heartbreaking, wailing sobs.

She was still useless.

* * *

 ** _an._** _wow, this story is really angsty. i like it :))_

 _per usual, don't forget to drop a review–tell me how much you lied it, or hated it, or maybe were indifferent to it. or just anything, really._

 _(i just love talking to you guys.)_


	86. guard

_disclaimer: whaaaaaaaaat? hehehe, i'm back and i still don't own naruto._

* * *

 **lxxxv.**

 **guard**

* * *

She didn't flinch as her mother towel dried her and cooed words of comfort.

She didn't clench her jaw as hands helped her put on pajamas.

Her fingers didn't twitch, her palms didn't curl up and she didn't feel anything other than exhaustion as she lay her head against her mother's shoulder and let the woman carry her into the living room.

Physically, she was fine.

Mentally, she was weary to the bone and just so _tired._ Letting her guard down felt good, albeit scary. Inner insisted she'd be alert and as the only person Sakura semi-trusted, she believed her.

* * *

 ** _an._** _heeeeeeey guysssss..._

 _guess it's been a while, huh._

 _the weird thing is that i still have fourteen chapters that have just been sitting around, not sure why i never posted them._ _i think i'll post all of them and we'll see if the inspiration for this story comes back._

 _(review kids.)_


	87. succeed

_disclaimer: on august twenty-third of last year i updated this story, not having owned naruto._

 _i'm sorry to say that this has not changed, and i am still so poor._

* * *

 **lxxxvi.**

 **succeed**

* * *

A bead of sweat slid down her forehead, following an invisible path down the bridge of her nose and sliding off the tip as she raggedly inhaled. Her tiny fingers clawed into the grass and dirt in front of her as she forced her trembling limbs upward.

She would not be weak.

She would not be a failure.

Green eyes slid shut as Sakura concentrated chakra into her aching feet. Charging, she prayed she wouldn't slip as her sandals met bark.

When she opened her eyes, the moonlight bathed field lay below her.

She would be strong.

She would succeed.

* * *

 ** _an._** _i think maybe i'll post one more tonight and then three tomorrow or the day after, depending on how many people really want more chapters, i suppose._

 _(also, as a side note this chapter is about our saku-chan mastering tree-walking. it's a lot harder when your four than when your twelve.)_

 _(also, as another side note, please review ok thanks bye.)_


	88. familiarity

_disclaimer: i recently looked through the reviews and someone (_ cheesebraingirl _) asked which characters i'd kill off. for one, sasuke needed to die, i think. but since he's alive i don't own naruto. :(_

* * *

 **lxxxvii.**

 **familiarity**

* * *

The breaking of dawn brought impromptu baths in a freezing river and attempts at stealthily finding her way back into her house. Granted, it was much easier than the week before, having finally managing the tree-climbing exercise, but it was hard to sneak around in the daylight as a soaked, pink-haired, little girl.

Still, she managed to enter through her bedroom without alerting anyone besides the neighbors' dog. Sakura could hear her father snoring soundly in her parents shared bedroom and allowed herself a small smile. She inhaled the scent of familiarity and safety as warmth pooled in her stomach.

* * *

 _ **an.** looking at the chapters, i've got some good ones coming up, closer to the end of the fourteen, now twelve (eleven?) chapters that were already written like months ago. _


	89. undeserving

_disclaimer: i've actually spent close to a whole entire heckin year really just trying my heckin hardest to own naruto but it hasn't worked. booo._

* * *

lxxxviii.

undeserving

* * *

Sakura felt her heart flutter at the dizzying happiness enveloping her before she viciously stomped it out. Tears pricked her bright, spring green eyes as she ran shaking fingers through sopping pink strands. She tugged hard, the feeling keeping her grounded as she forced herself to breathe. A deep, aching pain blossomed within her chest and she ground her teeth together before she fell slowly to her knees.

She didn't deserve the swelling happiness that filled her insides, so warm and _soothing_. She didn't deserve the feeling of being _loved_ and _wanted_ when blood stained her fingers like stubborn ink.

* * *

 ** _an._** _what's poppin' boys? little do you know, i for some reason actually, legitimately, deadass still have over 10 chapters that i just never heckin published for no good reason._

 _(on a real note, i am real sorry i never updated? i don't know why? i imagine i was probably very sad and listless but guess what! im so happy these days! life is very good!)_


	90. doubt

_disclaimer: fun fact i feel like these are also just author notes? i feel like i should stop? but they are tradition and so; i dont own nart._

* * *

lxxxix **.**

 **doubt**

* * *

Days passed slow after her first meeting with Naruto. Her mother had allowed her to be at the park once, but asking even a few days later was pushing the metaphorical envelope. After all, as far as anyone was concerned, she was four and utterly defenseless against any attackers. She tried not to let it affect her, tried not to think about how _weak_ and _useless_ she was, because weren't Naruto and Sasuke even more so?

It didn't matter. As the days wore on, she felt herself faltering in her determination– doubt preyed on her like a swarm of ravenous insects.

* * *

 _an. quick twelve second run down of my life since may of 2017, ready, go! okay i have a job i work at panda express && i make bank, uhhh, i have so many friends i love them so much except i actually hate them a little bit because they are very toxic (some of them) and... and... uh, im definitely failing all my classes, my dad got engaged and i love his fiance she's a sweetie and her kids are okay and i dont talk to my mom anymore but her baby is doing fine and so theres that. _

_whew._

 _oh! and my older brother is also engaged he and his fiance are about to have a baby im very excited it's gonna be great!_

 _okay i think that would be everything! please review :))_


	91. childish ideals

_disclaimer: consider it done yo_

* * *

 **xc.**

 **childish ideals**

* * *

Inner was comfort. Inner was childhood familiarity and the voice of not-quite-logic that kept her sane.

' _We're not strong,_ yet,' She wouldn't fail to remind Sakura, ' _But we will be.'_

No matter how often she tried to rebuttal her, Inner didn't believe in failure or quitting or anything that hinted that maybe, just maybe, they couldn't do this. It was infuriating most of the time–after all, Inner was a child and her childish ideals reflected that but, somehow, they kept the images of blood in her mouth and entrails on her hands and the feeling of ' _oh god'_ at bay.

* * *

 _ **an.**_ _henlo everypony! nah im kidding. but real quick reply to some guest reviews:_

 _notes are sometimes longr than chapter bc guess what chapter is 100 words._

 _yes, the fic is inspired by 'control' by halsey (give it a listen)_

 _i am lady, i will be aunt, thank you :)_

 _thanks bye review love y'all! :)))))_


	92. displeasure

_disclaimer: ... you know the whole dang darn drill, it be like that._

* * *

 **xci.**

 **displeasure**

* * *

May became June but it brought minimal progress. Her thoughts were full of nothing but getting stronger. Everything sort of faded, blurred and became background noise as her nights were spent with rigorous exercising–and the occasional jog with Maito Guy–and her days with naps and the warm comfort her home and parents provided.

It wasn't until two weeks after she'd first talked to Naruto that she saw any of her boys again–and by saw, she meant that they showed up in her doorway, all sheepish smiles and fidgeting hands as her mother stared at Naruto with something akin to displeasure.

* * *

 _ **an.**_ _so i missed like a whole week of school bc my grandpa died and it's so close to spring break i came back and my teachers were like yea we're putting in grades so its gonna be a zero for everything and im like ok cool fantastic i love having all F's, lovely._

 _as a side note, review? please, please? im out here cryin for help like give a girl a hand_


	93. kicked puppy

_disclaimer: consider this whack as fuck and disclaimed as shit._

* * *

 **xcii.**

 **kicked puppy**

* * *

The smile on Naruto's face dropped like a stone; his bright blue eyes growing a little dimmer as he shrank into himself and subtly stepped backward, half-hiding behind Sasuke and Itachi.

Everything inside her boiled and froze at the same moment. Her veins were ice-cold with fury, her stomach burning with ferocious intensity as she watched her _future Hokage_ curl up and hide like a kicked puppy. Her entire focus was shifted to keeping her killing intent hidden and the instinctual snarl from escaping her lips.

She pushed past her mother a little too forcefully, plastering on a fakely sweet smile.

* * *

 _ **an.**_ _what poppin it me again. i have like 4 seconds so heres the chapters and yes so that's all of it because i have to get ready for work ok bye._


	94. friend

_disclaimer: my names julia im 16 and i never learned how to fuckin own a giant multimillion dollar franchise._

* * *

 **xciii.**

 **friend**

* * *

"Naruto-kun!" She cried, genuinely happy despite the saccharine tone of her voice.

She watched him flinch, looking like he was on the verge of fleeing. Her mother's green eyes were narrowed into furious slits as her mouth thinned into a distinctly displeased line. She didn't seem to notice both the Uchiha also on her doorstep.

"Get out of here, demon!" Mebuki snapped, hands coming forward..

Sakura's temper snapped like a branch, her lips curling back into an outraged sneer as she flashed her teeth.

"His name is Naruto!" She hissed, bright eyes burning like an all-consuming fire, "And he's my _friend_!"

* * *

 _ **an.**_ _adios my fronds._

 _please review mmmmmm thankss_


	95. her hokage

_disclaimer: nah bro its not mine_

* * *

 **xciv.**

 **her Hokage**

* * *

Mebuki looked startled at the vehement tone of her voice, searching her face before she frowned, "He is _not_ your friend."

Suppressing a growl, Sakura stalked past her mother who'd shifted in front of her and grabbed Naruto's hand tightly, preventing escape. Itachi and Sasuke both inched their way out of the conflict, standing more to the side as she faced her mother–all teeth and pulled back lips and eyes burning, burning, burning.

"I love you, but I won't abandon him," Her tone was thinly veiled danger.

Naruto was the future.

Naruto was her Hokage.

Naruto was not a _demon_.

* * *

 ** _an._** _okay but i think the thing that annoys me at work the most is when people hand me their receipt back because they dont want it. like, its already in your hand just take it please._

 _OR WHEN I ASK THEM IF THEY WANT ANYTHING ELSE AND THEY SAY NO AND THEN IM RINGING THEM UP AND THEY'RE LIKE "OH AND CAN I GET THIS, THIS, AND THIS TOO? like bitch you lucky i cant say no._


	96. hopeful and horrified

_disclaimer: okay but if i owned naruto you could bet your buttons i woud be living it up somewhere and not even thinking about fanfiction ._

* * *

 **xcv.**

 **hopeful and horrified**

* * *

Blue eyes looked at her, watery and wide and so _hopeful_ that it hurt, "D'ya mean that, S-Sakura-chan?"

She glanced at him, mouth softening into a smile, "Of course."

The expression slipped off her face as soon as she felt the air shift, eyes darting forward and the fingers of her other hand twitching as her mother reached out towards her

Sakura saw fingers outstretched, curling towards her and _Naruto_. Her brain pricked and she tensed for the briefest of seconds, ready to launch herself forward and _kill_.

' _Don't!'_ Inner screeched, horrified at the thoughts that ran through their mind.

* * *

 ** _an._** _yuh yuh yuh review yuh_

 _on a side note work was so stressful yesterday i wanted to cry lmao happy spring break!_

 _oh shit review please and thankya_


	97. long discussion

_disclaimer: i dont own dorito._

* * *

 **xcvi.**

 **long discussion**

* * *

She let out a choked gasp, gulping air like she'd spent hours underwater and staring wild-eyed at her mother, who's hand was still half-outstretched, a bewildered look on her face. Sakura shook her head quickly, forcing back tears and thoughts of 'God, _I almost killed my mother'_ as she swallowed hard.

Mebuki pursed her lips, retracting her arm and brushing straw-colored hair off of her shoulder, "I don't like this– _him_ ," She waved at Naruto who was holding her hand in a death grip, "But I'll allow it–for now! Don't think your father and I won't be having a long discussion."

* * *

 ** _an._** _bro i spent too much money on clothes but i want to spend more._


	98. accompanying

_disclaimer: imagine if i had so much money from owning something like naturo_

* * *

 **xcvii.**

 **accompanying**

* * *

Itachi coughed lightly, whether to alert her mother to his presence or due to whatever illness he'd been diagnosed with–something she needed to figure out–she was unsure. However, it was effective in turning Mebuki into a flustered mess of embarrassed confusion as her apple eyes flitted from Naruto to the influential and wealthy Uchiha sons.

"Please, come in," She cooed, stepping aside for easy entrance, however her eyes narrowed in on Naruto in a clearly unwelcoming way.

"That's alright, thank-you" Itachi murmured, black eyes soaking everything in, "Sasuke just wanted to see if Sakura-san could accompany us to the park?"

* * *

 _ **an.**_ _review n all that boiiiiiiiiiii_

 _okay, but hey guys thanks for bein here and bein square and bein lovely ass bitches. we hit 200 reviews :)_

 _(oh shit forgot to tell ya'll my brother and his fiance had their baby she's cute.__


	99. i: kill, break, maim

_disclaimer: tbh um im pretty young for all that responsibility_

* * *

 **xcviii.**

 **i: kill, break, maim**

* * *

Itachi watched the interaction between Haruno Sakura and, what he presumed to be, her mother. His eyes narrowed as he watched Sakura's face shift, her eyes growing dangerously bright– sharp and unwavering– her lip curling back to expose her teeth like a vicious dog.

Her hand was wrapped around Naruto's wrist, as her mother moved, lunged. For a moment, the briefest second of time suspended, Itachi thought he saw Sakura's intent to kill, to break, to maim. Her fingers twitched, everything in slow-motion, and for just the littlest moment, a miniscule tendril of chakra leaked from the pink-haired little girl.

* * *

 _ **an.**_ _sorry for going awol for like two weeks even though i'm pretty sure anyone who's been here the whole time knows it's kinda my MO. been tryna get my shit together. like a month ago i was really happy and now i just cry all the time but what can you do y'know what i mean. teenage hormones amiright._


	100. i: looking down

_disclaimer: i dont know how old the naruto series is but im guessing at least ten years, so it's gonna be a hard, logic-filled no on the owning it thing._

* * *

 **xcvix** **.**

 **i: looking down**

* * *

In the next second, it was gone, blinking out of existence like a light, almost as if it had never been there in the first place. Itachi looked at Sakura, eyes still hyper-focussed on her mother. He had to physically remind himself that this was a four year old– a little girl, innocent, young, not a killer… not like him.

Not like him.

He breathed in sharply, the sticky feeling of blood on hands still chubby with baby fat, his father looking down, down, down– always looking down– on him as he graduated.

Sakura Haruno was nothing but a child.

* * *

 _ **an.**_ _happy 100th chapter. m¥ birthdays on thursday but don't think im really in the mood to do anything for it._

 _sigh._

 _review boiiiis it keeps me goin_


	101. lifeless

_disclaimer: s'kura ended up with sauce and dorito didn't die so it's definitely not me owning nart._

* * *

 **ci.**

 **lifeless**

* * *

Her mother's smile was brittle– too little feeling to be convincing as her voice became a strange pitch of fake niceties and desire to impress the young Uchiha heir and his brother, "Of course, Itachi-kun. Sakura, take your jacket, it might get chilly."

Sakura nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak after feeling herself almost lose control. She had been so close to losing her mother again, close enough to taste the blood that would have drained from her mother's lifeless body.

Unable to look said woman in the eyes, Sakura darted past her, tears welling in her eyes.

* * *

 ** _an._** _sooo basically i fucked up the roman numerals a little bittle. so chapter eighty-two 'done' and eighty-three 'pink walls' were accidentally both put up as eighty-two. since i'm really not going to go back like twenty chapters and fix it, i just skipped one hundred and went straight to one hundred and two. will i fix it someday? maybe. but not today._


	102. panic

_disclaimer: anyways if you haven't noticed i'm unsuccessful, poor, young, and tryna do my best– so no._

* * *

 **cii.**

 **panic**

* * *

She shut the door to her bedroom, sliding against the cool wood and forcing air in and out of her lungs at a steady pace. She felt panic bubbling over, her skin too hot and too cold at the same time. Sakura fisted her pink locks to keep her hands from shaking as sounds faded and a white noise gained volume.

'-Ey! Hey! HEY!'

Sakura inhaled greedily, a gasp flying from her gritted teeth as the world came into focus. The taste of salty tears on her lips surprised her and she reached up to feel the tears still flowing.

* * *

 ** _an._** _mmmmmmmm sakura hasn't really felt like quitting yet and i was like ok but i know my gal is a lil suicidal and by a lil i mean a lot like she essentially had nothing left to live for and now she's been thrown back. anyways, get read4it._

 _also thanks to everyone who reviewed and fuck everyone who didn't._

 _im kidding. (or am i?)_

 _review please, i love every one of them so much :')_


	103. on understanding

_disclaimer: disclaimer._

* * *

 **civ.**

 **on understanding**

* * *

' _I can't,'_ She whimpered to the little girl in her head, to Inner, to the one thing from her childhood that still managed to bring her comfort, ' _I can't do it anymore.'_

There was surprising anger in Inner's voice inside of her mind, ' _Yes you can, and yes you will Sakura.'_

' _No, I can't. I give up. I can't do it. I almost killed her, that's twice. I can't live like this– you don't understand.'_

' _I don't need to!'_ She snapped, ' _All those people died and now you can change it! There is_ nothing _I need to understand about that!'_

* * *

 ** _an._** _hello sweaties. have any of you listened to post malone's new album bc shits good. also, i watched infinity wars and it makes me actually want to punch everybody in the face. no spoilers but fuccckkk that shit. in other news, i'm now seventeen. actually, iv'e been seventeen since the snineteenth, but i think i forgot to mention it. oh well._


	104. puzzle pieces

_disclaimer: mmmmmmmm that good good money that i will never have._

* * *

 **cv.**

 **puzzle pieces**

* * *

Pulling herself back together felt like a toddler trying to jam together different pieces of different puzzles together. It was fumbling not to fix what was broken, but to make it look like she had. Inner's words were an echo in her mind, the other personality strangely silent after her outburst.

Inner was right, but it was hard not to be upset or angry about it. She was bone tired, every muscle in her being, every fraction of her mind was exhausted. Still, she was the only one who could change things.

Grabbing a light jacket, Sakura left her room.

* * *

 _ **an.** saku-chan is having some Rough Times. but that's okay. I'm really trying to portray her as someone who doesn't know what she's supposed to do other than "fix things" and who never really wanted the responsibility she's been given. _

_in a lot of time-travel stories sakura goes back in time to save things, or she's sent back and falls into the role of savior easily. control-verse sakura is a sakura who feels like a puzzle piece being jammed into the wrong spot and is unsure what to do about that._

 _almost forgot, PLEASE REVIEW! LOVE YOU GUYS!_


	105. false cheer

_disclaimer: narto is kishimoto_

* * *

 **cv.**

 **false cheer**

* * *

She rubbed the tears from her eyes, knowing there was no helping the fact they were red-rimmed and still watery. She bounced down the stairs with all the false cheer she could drag up and the memories of the young Sakura's happy disposition.

"Sorry I took so long," She greeted with a beaming smile, "I tripped and fell down but I'm all better now!"

Itachi took in her mussed hair and tear-stained cheeks before frowning in concern as her mother whipped around and immediately began fusing over her only child.

Sakura wrinkled her nose, "Mooom! I'm fine really! Perfectly fine!"

* * *

 ** _an._** _uploaded from the comfort of my shower because athena asked me if I had an estimate on when I would upload next and guess what athena, that time is now! summer break is two and a half days away and im so hecking ready._


	106. manners and races

_disclaimer: it's still a no from me_

* * *

 **cvi.**

 **manners and races**

* * *

After assuring her mom that she was really okay and getting a brief lecture on not leaving things all over her floor, Sakura was skipping down the street with a genuine smile. Naruto was rambling about something silly despite Sasuke snapping at him every few seconds to shut up, and Itachi quietly reprimanding his brother about manners.

Halfway through their walk Naruto challenged Sasuke to a race and, young and prideful as he was, immediately sprinted off, leaving Naruto scrambling to catch up as he accused Sasuke of cheating. Sakura smiled widely at Itachi before she was bolting after them.

* * *

 ** _an._** _lower case is hard on my phone, it wants to proper grammar so bad :( all my senior friends have graduated and im so proud but so sad._

 _leave some reviews, athena did and I updated so? lo_ _ve ya!_


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